Friday, October 1, 2010

No, I'm Not Interested In Your Startup

Colonel Quaritch vs. Your App
You've got a great new app that uses the iPhone 4 hi-res camera to check the state of my cooking pasta and tell me exactly how much longer to cook it for optimum flavor. Your new Web 2.0 collaborative messaging app will enable an unprecedented level of office productivity in a cloud-hosted distributed web-scale architecture. You are thrilled to tell me about the next leap forward in social dynamics and how your app is an enabler for the next level of financial integration with social media which will future-proof antiquated institutions from disruptive technologies. Guess what? I don't give a fuck!

We used to send men to the moon. We once figured out how to split the atom and release vast quantities of energy in the process. We invented a novel device called the transistor. We discovered penicillin. We developed vaccines that have saved the lives of about half of all children born in the last century. We've mapped the human genome. We gave everyone in democratic countries the right to vote regardless of skin color and ended apartheid. The Soviet Union is no more.

But you want me to get excited about your little piece-of-shit app like it's the next greatest thing since the Magna Carta. Well sorry to bust your bubble ego boy, but it's not. In fact, more likely than not its useless and annoying. Even if you're successful, what have you done? Created the next facebook? Another colossal fucking waste of human energy whose main purpose seems to be to get people to spend their hard earned money on virtual farm buildings?

If you wanna be excited about your work, fine. If you wanna get rich from some dumbass VCs, herd-following customers or credit-card funded users, go ahead. Nothing wrong with that. But don't pretend it's anything more than this. Don't pretend that your shitty app is going to change the world, because it's not. You already are going after the money and fame, don't also take the dignity away from people making an actual difference in the world. Leave them with that.

22 comments:

  1. FB has actually changed the world...and I'm sorry for you, little jealous guy...

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  2. nice rant but true

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  3. My thoughts exactly. Thanks for saying this.

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  4. BrowsingAround: Facebook has changed the world... ever consider the opportunity cost?

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  5. Facebook has helped me keep in touch with hundreds of people I would have otherwise lost contact with. You can change the world for the better without curing cancer or ending world hunger.

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  6. Facebook has changed the world. The ability to communicate with friends and family all in one place is very useful.

    The games are a waste of space, but not any worse than most TV.

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  7. I would wait for a few more years before making up my mind on the value of FB. I am not a FB user, but there is no denying that they have connected people. Also, lets not forget that the infrastructure that they have built to serve their scale could be used for something useful in science.

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  8. Facebook HAS changed the world. The world is now 20% less productive every day.. because they waste their time on Facebook.

    That's a BIG change.

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  9. Matt: Facebook didnt change the world. You were able to cummunicate with friends and family using the mail, phone, IM, etc.
    You cannot tell I found people i've never seen in years. You never see them cause you dont want to reach them. Facebook allows you comunicate easily, but, why didn'y u call your old school friends by phone? Nothing stops you. We could live without facebook

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  10. And...who are you? What did you achieved? hmm...

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  11. Right on! We've rapidly descended in a shallow shallow world. Fleeting fame and piles of useless stuff are deemed more important than happiness or actually accomplishing something constructive that lasts. Patch it, claim "Mission Accomplished" and then move on to the local mall to buy more junk to fill the spaces in you house and life. It's a new low for humanity.

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  12. Too true. I'm a software developer. A couple weeks ago I got into a "what do you do" conversation with someone I'd just met. Turns out she develops cancer vaccines. That put me in my place.

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  13. I wouldn't agree with you, you build a startup to make money thats a primary goal but you do that out of passion...
    if atleast one startup out of the 100's that come up every year makes a difference then thats good enough, it could be a simple thing as you said "using an iphone camera to check the status of the cooking" it doesn't change the world but it might help someone cook something good for someone isn't that good enough.. its a very very small thing but who cares somebody gets to use it and somebody gets to make money out of it and thats a simple equation for a business
    every startup need not create a new type of hybrid car...

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  14. "FB has actually changed the world..."

    So nearly 7.5% of the world has a Facebook account right now. What, exactly, has actually been accomplished aside from a staggeringly large number of members?

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  15. HAHA.
    Awesome. Loved it. Can't stop smiling.
    BTW, I also made a small world changing app to help people in the noble pursuit of finding out the next movie to watch. Join the revolution @ http://cineight.com.

    Still smiling, I am.

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  16. Excellent pieces. Keep posting such kind of information on your blog. I really impressed by your blog.
    Android apps development| Android app development companies|

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  17. must read for people who get themselves too serious. nice blog by the way.

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